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Sunday, March 23, 2014

My Insensitve Aunt

My dad comes from a family of 9. There were a total of five sisters and 4 brothers. A few of them have quirky personalities, and are OK to be around. But one in particular is the most insensitive, self-centered, critical, and hurtful person I know.

Laverne is very critical about how a person looks, when she is hardly a beauty queen herself. For example, when I was about 9, my parents dropped my siblings and I over to her house for a few hours while they did some errands.  In the mean time, her husbands niece was coming over for a while also. Laverne went to open the door, and said this," Donna is here, look how FAT she is."  I was taken aback at her  insensitivity even at that age, maybe because I've had a weight problem since childhood. When Laverne made this statement, I thought to myself, If she says that about Donna, what does she say about me? She's even like that with her own grandchildren. Her middle son has a set of twins that are in their late twenty's, and Laverne always comments on how FAT they are. Not that their smart, funny, caring etc. Just how FAT they are. As critical as she is, she doesn't get why her grandchildren rarely come to see her. I don't blame them, because personally I don't want to go visit her.

Laverne also says inappropriate things at inappropriate times.  Her youngest son had a very bad first marriage. That particular wife was a serial cheater among other things, but he finally had enough and divorced her.  A few years ago at Christmastime, a group of our family members were gathered together at my parents house. A few of us were sitting at a table just gabbing, and Laverne was talking about her sons first wife, and no it wasn't very nice,  when Laverne just blurted out, " Melissa is a nymphomaniac." That moment of shock set in, you know the one were everyone holds their breath and thinks simultaneously, " Did I just hear that?"  That statement Laverne made something one just shouldn't make, mainly because it was inappropriate, and also because she shouldn't of been airing her sons personal life to others. But leave it to Laverne to be insensitive and evil.

Laverne is a tattletale. We have a saying in my family that goes,

"There are three forms of communication,


Telephone, and

Tell Laverne."

If there is something you want to keep private, defiantly don't tell Laverne, because she'll spread all the information she has around in a hot second.
several years ago, some friends and I went to a local Greek restaurant for coffee and desert, and wouldn't you know Laverne was there with a group of ladies from her church. By the time I got home my phone was ringing, and it was my mother. Mom had told me that La Verne had called her, I was at the restaurant and told her who I was with and what I was eating. My mom also told me that what she didn't care one iota, because I was an adult, but that Laverne was up to her antics again.

For about 15 years I lived within walking distance from Laverne, and I found it annoying when my neighbors would tell me that Laverne was nosing around my house to see if I was home and ask them questions about what company I had at my house.  Knowing that she does this on a regular basis, my one neighbor would call me and give me a heads up when he saw Laverne pass his house so I could decide whether or not to open the door. Most of the time I didn't answer the door for her. One time in particular, I had a friend I had known from High School over for dinner, and after that we were going to head out for a night of fun. Well I had locked the screen door to get into the house, but I had forgotten to lock the door for the screened in porch. Wouldn't you know Laverne was coming to snoop to see what company I had, and there she was looking in my door. I told her that Greg and I were in the middle of eating, and I got up and shut the door to the house. Withing 30 minutes Laverne had called my parents and everyone she could, and told them I was rude and 'Slammed' the door in her face. She was the rude one for snooping around and putting her nose in my business,

I could also use the above story under the heading of Laverne is an attention seeker. Which she is.
Laverne thinks the world should revolve around her. She'll call everyone and tell you when her birthday is and expects present or a card from them, but she won't acknowledge anyone elses birthday or Milestone
Anniversary. Laverne has neropathey in her legs, and tells perfect strangers that she has it so she can get sympathy. She's like a spoiled little child that jumps up and down shouting " look at me, look at me"

I've only shared a few stories with you, but there are a lifetime of stories that relatives can tell you of Laverne's lack of sensitivity and common sense. We all have one relative in our families that rub everyone the wrong way, and either don't realize they're doing it and hurting their family and friends, or just don't give a rats ass that they're doing it at all. In Laverne's case I think its equally both.

Blessings and hugs

Saturday, March 22, 2014

OOPS I did it again

I did it again!!!

Two days ago, I had put a frozen pizza in the oven. This is the type that one places on the oven rack without a pizza pan or a pizza stone under it. While it was baking, some of the cheese dripped onto the bottom of the oven and started smoking, setting off the smoke alarm.

When I removed the pizza, and looked in the oven, it was worse then what I thought it was.  Even the window in the oven door was rather gross.

Just like my refrigerator, I stood there wondering when the last time I had cleaned the oven, and I just couldn't remember. So the next day I got out my Easy Off oven cleaner, and took on the task of cleaning the appliance. After 2 hours and several rags later, which were beyond washing and went into the garbage,
the inside of the oven is clean.

For now.

I don't know if not cleaning my major appliances is either out of my dislike of cleaning in general or just out of laziness. Either way I'm going to have to pledge to myself to keep up with it, or just pay the person who cleans the rest of my house, a little extra to do it. I'll have to think about this one.

Blessings and hugs

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Perks of Getting Older

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or being 70 and heading to the completion of your 8th decade!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

I'm a little smart ass

When I woke up this morning I was in a relatively good mood considering I didn't sleep well last night. Then I got a call from my Agony Aunt. ( a description of her will come later.)

In a matter of seconds she pissed me off and I basically cussed her out. She often wonders why her own grandchildren won't visit her.

Blessings and Hugs and I hope you all have a better day then me.

Friday, March 7, 2014

On March 5,2014 Prince was the guest star on the Arsenio Hall show. I had to watch, one because I like Arsenio's show, and two, I hadn't seen any recent work by Prince in ages.

Granted, I have never been a very big fan of Prince, nor have I ever been compelled to buy any of his albums or even view his movie, but I admit he has an excellent body of work to his name.

Prince's video's in the 1990's were very well done, and and I did like watching them, but still never enough to want to go out and buy them.

As I was watching Prince and his band perform on Arsenio's show, I found myself mesmerised by the movement of his horn section, and the overall performance of Prince and his band. The band members seemed like they really loved what they were doing, which is a good thing, because one should always do what they love the most.

Prince and Aresino did a fun Q and A segment.  It was nice that Prince was comfortable enough to show his humor, being that he is a rather quiet and reserved person. All in all, the show was absolutely fabulous, and the hour went by a little to quickly. I was wishing that there could have been an extra hour it was that much fun. More fun the watching Cloris Leachman eat stalks of celery on a previous Arsenio show, that was rather dull, and Arsenio looked rather uncomfortable trying to interview her.

Hopefully Prince will be willing to do another show with Arsenio, and I will surely be watching.

Many Blessing to you.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The ICK factor

Last night, when I went into the refrigerator for a snack, I just so happened to look down at the bottom of the fridge, and noticed it needed to be wiped. So I thought, it would be a good idea for me to do it today. This afternoon when I went in to do my project, I realized I had reached my ICK factor.

The inside of the refrigerator was worse then I thought it was. There were drips and crumbs that had fallen every where, and finger prints galore. As I racked my brain to remember the last time I cleaned inside this refrigerator, I realized I didn't remember when it was. 

Double ICK factor.

So armed with hot soapy water and a rag, I took on the task of cleaning the inside of the appliance, changing the water twice. As I was cleaning the thing out, I wondered how things could get so icky since I'm the only one that uses the appliance.  When did I become so complacent that I didn't notice, for who knows how long, it needed to be done.

So pledging that I will pay more attention to the inside of my chill chest - and not just to get something to eat - I put up a sticky note to the front to clean it once a month. 

Now I will see how long my motivation will last.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

I finally retired

On July 26,2013 I finally retired from work. It wasn't voluntary, I still had 12 years that I could have worked, but it was out of necessity. My entire life I have struggled with various health problems, but the problem that forced me to have to leave was my knee. The knee joint is literally bone on bone, and it was interfering with my being able to get in and out of my former place of employment. 

There are days when I literally cannot put pressure on my right knee,that's how bad it is. The joint broke down mostly from the extra weight I carry around, compounded by the fact that for the first 15 years I was with my former place of employment, I spent standing on uneven cement floors.

Several years ago my sister in law finally said something about me retiring. She noticed how hard it was for me to maneuver stairs, and basically move around,and I have developed a problem with balance. Even though she meant well, my pride got in the way, and I responded by saying if I were to retire, I'd be bored out of my mind with nothing to do.

So I continued struggling, taking longer and longer to get dressed and get myself into work. It finally came to the point where last spring, I had to install a custom shower with a larger seat, and the hand held shower head on the side wall, just so I can wash up on a daily basis, because I can't stand long in the shower, plus I am a fall risk. I've also had to get the system where I have the pendant around my neck to press in case of a fall. Unfortunately I've had to use the pendant more then once.

So I finally set my pride aside, and retired, and you know what? I'm not bored. I have things to do on a daily basis that keep me occupied, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to still live independently. I have family members who help me out with my grocery shopping, and a couple of nice neighbors that get my garbage out to the curb so I won't have to struggle with the trash can and my walker. 

So retirement has been good to me so far. Now I'm glad I did it.  The one thing I want to do is get back to writing my blogs on a regular basis.  So here I go, I'll be trying to post on a regular basis again.

Blessings and hugs to you all

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Airline Announcements

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announsments a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 4 ways out of this plane.

We do feature a smoking section on this flight. If you must smoke, contact a mombe of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.

Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatorie will be asked to leave the plane immeadiatly.

Pilot - " Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude, so I am going to switch off the seat belt sign. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. it's a bit cold outside, it's a bit cold outside , and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern. "

After landing; " Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed talking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker. " Whoa Big Fella. "

Weather at our distination is 50 degrees with som broken clouds, but we will try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money more then Southwest.

Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them as our compliments.

As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children.

And from the pilot during the welcome message: " We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunatly none of them are on this flight."

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attandant came on the intercome and said, " That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airlines fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the Attendants' fault.... it was the asphalt!"

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo,Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having ato fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendantannounced, Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Amarillo, Pleas remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastned while the Captain taxis to whats left to the gate."

Another Flight Attandants comment on a less than perfect landing: " We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a " Thanks for flying XYZ airline: He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eyes. Finally everyone had gotten off except a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, " Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am" said the pilot, " What is it? " The little old lady said, " Did we land or were we shot down?"

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Rest Well My Dear Pet

Meet my cat Houligan. Today I had to put him to rest due to failing health. I knew I had to do it one day, but I always thought he'd be with me a while longer.
Houligan was 13 years old and he was quite a character. He was also a big cat with a squeaky meow, and it always made me laugh everytime he opened his mouth.
I can clearly remember the day I brought him home from the shelter, as though it was yesterday. He was about a year old at the time, and as I was driveing home with my beloved pet, he was twisting and turning, and making all this noise in the carrier in the seat next to me. I looked at him and said, " Shut up you little Houligan!" Hence his name !!!
Houligan's loss hurts just as much as my other pets who went before him, but I know I gave him a good life and loved him the same way a parent loves their human child. My consolation is that I know that he is no longer in pain, and that he'll be waiting for me with the others at the Rainbow Bridge.
Rest well my Big ole Houligan cat. I'll keep you in my heart forever.
The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water,and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing, the each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His eyes are bright and intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross over the Rainbow Bridge together........
Author Unknown

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Idiot Day

Geez, I didn't realize it'd been so long since I blogged, but today I just had too!!!!!!

I just had one of those days when every idiot on the face of the earth just had to cross my path. It started this morning, I was trying to get into my car to go to work, and the old man next door(who is more then an idiot but that's another blog) strolled in to moan about the lawn service I have to fertilize my grass.

Now I have noticed that they hadn't been doing a very good job, and I have some weedage along the left side of my driveway. I was going to make another call to them and complain when I got home this evening to have them take care of it. But Old Man Idiot neighbor came over and started bitching !!! He's just one of those people who isn't happy unless he's complaining.

Anyway I told him, " Look you ! I am neither blind nor stupid, and I am going to call them in due time. But, when I call them I will inform them that if you do so much as come out and tell them what to do, that they send you the bill."

Needless to say he moaned about my statement, which isn't surprising, until I went on to say that I pay the lawn service not him. If he's going to interfere, either he pays them, or he can fertilize my lawn for free. I excused myself and headed off to my job.

The Walmart is in the same area as the grocery store I work for and often I go thru their parking lot to get to the parking lot for my store. ( Yes Billy, I have a WalMart story today)
Well today when I was driving thru the Walmart parking lot, I encountered Kamikaze Idiot.
I was driving less then 5 MPH, when an Asian lady and her three children were coming out of the Walmart. I stopped and gave them the right of way. The three children saw me and stopped, which told me that these children were intelligent and knew to look both ways before crossing. But their mother, Kamikaze idiot wasn't paying attention, and just kept moving. Even though I was at a complete stop, when she looked my way she literally jumped out of her skin. She was surprised that cars were actually moving in the Walmart lot. Well DUH!!! If she has some sort of a death wish, I just hope she doesn't do her Kamikaze thing when I'm around.

I worked my shift with the usual annoyances, but as I was leaving the parking lot to come home, I encountered a whole new crop of idiots. When I get ready to leave, I always wait a minute or two, and look in back of me, because there may be a person pushing a cart of groceries to their car, and they may be moving kind of slow, or one of the cart people may be out rounding up the carts to take inside. I basically make sure I don't hit anyone while backing out of my space. Well, I pulled out of my space, and started driving up the lane, when I'm In A Hurry So I Don't Care If You're Driving Up The Lane Idiot, starts backing out and almost smashes into the front drivers side of my car !!!! Needless to say I layed on my horn, and he stopped. I had seen him in the store earlier when he was doing his grocery shopping, and he was giving the deli manager a hard time. So it just figured that he would cross my path also.

So I get on to RTE 30, after sitting thru 3 cycles of lights, that's how backed up traffic was, when I got behind, Miss I Am Going To Drive 30 Miles Per Hour In A 50 Mile Per Hour Zone. Rte 30 is a 2 lane highway, and in that particular area traffic is kind of heavy at 5 pm, but traffic still moves at 50 miles an hour. The lady driving slowly looked to be in her mid 20's and needless to say she did get the one finger wave from several drivers that she had annoyed besides me. But as slow as she was driving, she probably is still on her way home at this minute.

But I can say that I did make it home safely, and fortunately I don't have anyplace to go this evening. If I did have to leave, I know more then likely I would find a whole new crop of idiots.

I hope you all had a better day then I did.

Blessings and Hugs