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Sunday, March 23, 2014

My Insensitve Aunt

My dad comes from a family of 9. There were a total of five sisters and 4 brothers. A few of them have quirky personalities, and are OK to be around. But one in particular is the most insensitive, self-centered, critical, and hurtful person I know.

Laverne is very critical about how a person looks, when she is hardly a beauty queen herself. For example, when I was about 9, my parents dropped my siblings and I over to her house for a few hours while they did some errands.  In the mean time, her husbands niece was coming over for a while also. Laverne went to open the door, and said this," Donna is here, look how FAT she is."  I was taken aback at her  insensitivity even at that age, maybe because I've had a weight problem since childhood. When Laverne made this statement, I thought to myself, If she says that about Donna, what does she say about me? She's even like that with her own grandchildren. Her middle son has a set of twins that are in their late twenty's, and Laverne always comments on how FAT they are. Not that their smart, funny, caring etc. Just how FAT they are. As critical as she is, she doesn't get why her grandchildren rarely come to see her. I don't blame them, because personally I don't want to go visit her.

Laverne also says inappropriate things at inappropriate times.  Her youngest son had a very bad first marriage. That particular wife was a serial cheater among other things, but he finally had enough and divorced her.  A few years ago at Christmastime, a group of our family members were gathered together at my parents house. A few of us were sitting at a table just gabbing, and Laverne was talking about her sons first wife, and no it wasn't very nice,  when Laverne just blurted out, " Melissa is a nymphomaniac." That moment of shock set in, you know the one were everyone holds their breath and thinks simultaneously, " Did I just hear that?"  That statement Laverne made something one just shouldn't make, mainly because it was inappropriate, and also because she shouldn't of been airing her sons personal life to others. But leave it to Laverne to be insensitive and evil.

Laverne is a tattletale. We have a saying in my family that goes,

"There are three forms of communication,

Television,

Telephone, and

Tell Laverne."

If there is something you want to keep private, defiantly don't tell Laverne, because she'll spread all the information she has around in a hot second.
several years ago, some friends and I went to a local Greek restaurant for coffee and desert, and wouldn't you know Laverne was there with a group of ladies from her church. By the time I got home my phone was ringing, and it was my mother. Mom had told me that La Verne had called her, I was at the restaurant and told her who I was with and what I was eating. My mom also told me that what she didn't care one iota, because I was an adult, but that Laverne was up to her antics again.

For about 15 years I lived within walking distance from Laverne, and I found it annoying when my neighbors would tell me that Laverne was nosing around my house to see if I was home and ask them questions about what company I had at my house.  Knowing that she does this on a regular basis, my one neighbor would call me and give me a heads up when he saw Laverne pass his house so I could decide whether or not to open the door. Most of the time I didn't answer the door for her. One time in particular, I had a friend I had known from High School over for dinner, and after that we were going to head out for a night of fun. Well I had locked the screen door to get into the house, but I had forgotten to lock the door for the screened in porch. Wouldn't you know Laverne was coming to snoop to see what company I had, and there she was looking in my door. I told her that Greg and I were in the middle of eating, and I got up and shut the door to the house. Withing 30 minutes Laverne had called my parents and everyone she could, and told them I was rude and 'Slammed' the door in her face. She was the rude one for snooping around and putting her nose in my business,

I could also use the above story under the heading of Laverne is an attention seeker. Which she is.
Laverne thinks the world should revolve around her. She'll call everyone and tell you when her birthday is and expects present or a card from them, but she won't acknowledge anyone elses birthday or Milestone
Anniversary. Laverne has neropathey in her legs, and tells perfect strangers that she has it so she can get sympathy. She's like a spoiled little child that jumps up and down shouting " look at me, look at me"

I've only shared a few stories with you, but there are a lifetime of stories that relatives can tell you of Laverne's lack of sensitivity and common sense. We all have one relative in our families that rub everyone the wrong way, and either don't realize they're doing it and hurting their family and friends, or just don't give a rats ass that they're doing it at all. In Laverne's case I think its equally both.

Blessings and hugs


Saturday, March 22, 2014

OOPS I did it again

I did it again!!!

Two days ago, I had put a frozen pizza in the oven. This is the type that one places on the oven rack without a pizza pan or a pizza stone under it. While it was baking, some of the cheese dripped onto the bottom of the oven and started smoking, setting off the smoke alarm.

When I removed the pizza, and looked in the oven, it was worse then what I thought it was.  Even the window in the oven door was rather gross.

Just like my refrigerator, I stood there wondering when the last time I had cleaned the oven, and I just couldn't remember. So the next day I got out my Easy Off oven cleaner, and took on the task of cleaning the appliance. After 2 hours and several rags later, which were beyond washing and went into the garbage,
the inside of the oven is clean.

For now.

I don't know if not cleaning my major appliances is either out of my dislike of cleaning in general or just out of laziness. Either way I'm going to have to pledge to myself to keep up with it, or just pay the person who cleans the rest of my house, a little extra to do it. I'll have to think about this one.

Blessings and hugs

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Perks of Getting Older

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or being 70 and heading to the completion of your 8th decade!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

I'm a little smart ass

When I woke up this morning I was in a relatively good mood considering I didn't sleep well last night. Then I got a call from my Agony Aunt. ( a description of her will come later.)

In a matter of seconds she pissed me off and I basically cussed her out. She often wonders why her own grandchildren won't visit her.

Blessings and Hugs and I hope you all have a better day then me.

Friday, March 7, 2014




On March 5,2014 Prince was the guest star on the Arsenio Hall show. I had to watch, one because I like Arsenio's show, and two, I hadn't seen any recent work by Prince in ages.

Granted, I have never been a very big fan of Prince, nor have I ever been compelled to buy any of his albums or even view his movie, but I admit he has an excellent body of work to his name.

Prince's video's in the 1990's were very well done, and and I did like watching them, but still never enough to want to go out and buy them.

As I was watching Prince and his band perform on Arsenio's show, I found myself mesmerised by the movement of his horn section, and the overall performance of Prince and his band. The band members seemed like they really loved what they were doing, which is a good thing, because one should always do what they love the most.

Prince and Aresino did a fun Q and A segment.  It was nice that Prince was comfortable enough to show his humor, being that he is a rather quiet and reserved person. All in all, the show was absolutely fabulous, and the hour went by a little to quickly. I was wishing that there could have been an extra hour it was that much fun. More fun the watching Cloris Leachman eat stalks of celery on a previous Arsenio show, that was rather dull, and Arsenio looked rather uncomfortable trying to interview her.

Hopefully Prince will be willing to do another show with Arsenio, and I will surely be watching.

Many Blessing to you.