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Sunday, September 6, 2015

21 Actual Analogies Used By High School Students in English Essays.


1. When she tried to sing, it sounded like a walrus giving birth to farm equipment. 

2. Her eyes twinkled, like the moustache of a man with a cold. 

3. She was like a magnet: Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front. 

4. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 

5. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef. 

6. She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet. 

7. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. 

8. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 

9. Her eyes were like the stars, not because they twinkle, but because they were so far apart. 
10. His career was blowing up like a man with a broken metal detector walking through an active minefield. 

11. The sun was below the watery horizon, like a diabetic grandma easing into a warm salt bath. 

12. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes at a 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30. 

13. It was as easy as taking candy from a diabetic man who no longer wishes to eat candy. 

14. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes before it throws up. 

15. Their love burned with the fiery intensity of a urinary tract infection. 

16. It's basically an illusion and no different than if I were to imagine something else, like Batman riding a flying toaster. 

17. If it was any colder, it would be like being in a place that's a little colder than it is here. 

18. Joy fills her heart like a silent but deadly fart fills a room with no windows. 

19. The bird flew gracefully into the air like a man stepping on a landmine in zero gravity. 

20. He felt confused. As confused as a homeless man on house arrest. 

21. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. 

Young writers are capable of magic when it comes to the written word. 

Monday, July 27, 2015

In Memory of my friend Terry Dolatowski

My friend Terry Dolatowski passed away on July 12, 2015. He bravely fought cancer the last two years of his life, and never complained of being sick.

I met Terry 30 years ago  in a group called ACYA/TURNINGPOINT. It was a group for active Catholic Young adults between the ages of 21 to 40 sponsered through the catholic Church of the Diocese of Gary.

Terry was the kindest soul I've ever met. Despite his medical disabliltys, one that included Epilepsy, Terry always had a smile on his face. He had a wicked sense of humor, and his most endearing quality was that he genuinly cared about people.

He was a well loved by everyone who had the honor of knowing him. I know my life was better for him being in it, and I made sure I let him know it too.

You will be sorely missed here on earth Terry, your wings were well earned and are well deserved.

I Will Remember You"

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

I have always loved crafting things, be it counted cross stitch, crocheting, or latch hook projects. But by far my favorite craft is crocheting. Since I have been retired, I have more time to lend to crocheting.

Since January, I have crocheted, 4 big Afghans, and 2 baby blankets. All but one big afghan were presents for members of my family. Any afghan that I make for my parents are appreciated and used. They have a big storage room where they keep the many afghans that I've made for them, and rotate them for whatever season of the year it is, and often go and get a different one out just to cover up while watching the television. In fact, they have taken a few to their Florida home with them, to use,

I made my two oldest nephews who now live in Florida each an afghan. In fact my nephew MJ, was back here for a visit in June, He was staying with my parents. I had him come over to get his and his brothers blankies, and he absolutely loved it. In fact my mom had told me that he used it when he got back to her house. MJ took a 2 hour nap and covered himself with it.

I don't mind crocheting things for people who appreciate and use the things I make for them. That is the sincerest form of THANK YOU I can get,

Have a wonderful day!

Blessings and Hugs

Sunday, March 23, 2014

My Insensitve Aunt

My dad comes from a family of 9. There were a total of five sisters and 4 brothers. A few of them have quirky personalities, and are OK to be around. But one in particular is the most insensitive, self-centered, critical, and hurtful person I know.

Laverne is very critical about how a person looks, when she is hardly a beauty queen herself. For example, when I was about 9, my parents dropped my siblings and I over to her house for a few hours while they did some errands.  In the mean time, her husbands niece was coming over for a while also. Laverne went to open the door, and said this," Donna is here, look how FAT she is."  I was taken aback at her  insensitivity even at that age, maybe because I've had a weight problem since childhood. When Laverne made this statement, I thought to myself, If she says that about Donna, what does she say about me? She's even like that with her own grandchildren. Her middle son has a set of twins that are in their late twenty's, and Laverne always comments on how FAT they are. Not that their smart, funny, caring etc. Just how FAT they are. As critical as she is, she doesn't get why her grandchildren rarely come to see her. I don't blame them, because personally I don't want to go visit her.

Laverne also says inappropriate things at inappropriate times.  Her youngest son had a very bad first marriage. That particular wife was a serial cheater among other things, but he finally had enough and divorced her.  A few years ago at Christmastime, a group of our family members were gathered together at my parents house. A few of us were sitting at a table just gabbing, and Laverne was talking about her sons first wife, and no it wasn't very nice,  when Laverne just blurted out, " Melissa is a nymphomaniac." That moment of shock set in, you know the one were everyone holds their breath and thinks simultaneously, " Did I just hear that?"  That statement Laverne made something one just shouldn't make, mainly because it was inappropriate, and also because she shouldn't of been airing her sons personal life to others. But leave it to Laverne to be insensitive and evil.

Laverne is a tattletale. We have a saying in my family that goes,

"There are three forms of communication,


Telephone, and

Tell Laverne."

If there is something you want to keep private, defiantly don't tell Laverne, because she'll spread all the information she has around in a hot second.
several years ago, some friends and I went to a local Greek restaurant for coffee and desert, and wouldn't you know Laverne was there with a group of ladies from her church. By the time I got home my phone was ringing, and it was my mother. Mom had told me that La Verne had called her, I was at the restaurant and told her who I was with and what I was eating. My mom also told me that what she didn't care one iota, because I was an adult, but that Laverne was up to her antics again.

For about 15 years I lived within walking distance from Laverne, and I found it annoying when my neighbors would tell me that Laverne was nosing around my house to see if I was home and ask them questions about what company I had at my house.  Knowing that she does this on a regular basis, my one neighbor would call me and give me a heads up when he saw Laverne pass his house so I could decide whether or not to open the door. Most of the time I didn't answer the door for her. One time in particular, I had a friend I had known from High School over for dinner, and after that we were going to head out for a night of fun. Well I had locked the screen door to get into the house, but I had forgotten to lock the door for the screened in porch. Wouldn't you know Laverne was coming to snoop to see what company I had, and there she was looking in my door. I told her that Greg and I were in the middle of eating, and I got up and shut the door to the house. Withing 30 minutes Laverne had called my parents and everyone she could, and told them I was rude and 'Slammed' the door in her face. She was the rude one for snooping around and putting her nose in my business,

I could also use the above story under the heading of Laverne is an attention seeker. Which she is.
Laverne thinks the world should revolve around her. She'll call everyone and tell you when her birthday is and expects present or a card from them, but she won't acknowledge anyone elses birthday or Milestone
Anniversary. Laverne has neropathey in her legs, and tells perfect strangers that she has it so she can get sympathy. She's like a spoiled little child that jumps up and down shouting " look at me, look at me"

I've only shared a few stories with you, but there are a lifetime of stories that relatives can tell you of Laverne's lack of sensitivity and common sense. We all have one relative in our families that rub everyone the wrong way, and either don't realize they're doing it and hurting their family and friends, or just don't give a rats ass that they're doing it at all. In Laverne's case I think its equally both.

Blessings and hugs

Saturday, March 22, 2014

OOPS I did it again

I did it again!!!

Two days ago, I had put a frozen pizza in the oven. This is the type that one places on the oven rack without a pizza pan or a pizza stone under it. While it was baking, some of the cheese dripped onto the bottom of the oven and started smoking, setting off the smoke alarm.

When I removed the pizza, and looked in the oven, it was worse then what I thought it was.  Even the window in the oven door was rather gross.

Just like my refrigerator, I stood there wondering when the last time I had cleaned the oven, and I just couldn't remember. So the next day I got out my Easy Off oven cleaner, and took on the task of cleaning the appliance. After 2 hours and several rags later, which were beyond washing and went into the garbage,
the inside of the oven is clean.

For now.

I don't know if not cleaning my major appliances is either out of my dislike of cleaning in general or just out of laziness. Either way I'm going to have to pledge to myself to keep up with it, or just pay the person who cleans the rest of my house, a little extra to do it. I'll have to think about this one.

Blessings and hugs

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Perks of Getting Older

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or being 70 and heading to the completion of your 8th decade!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

I'm a little smart ass

When I woke up this morning I was in a relatively good mood considering I didn't sleep well last night. Then I got a call from my Agony Aunt. ( a description of her will come later.)

In a matter of seconds she pissed me off and I basically cussed her out. She often wonders why her own grandchildren won't visit her.

Blessings and Hugs and I hope you all have a better day then me.

Friday, March 7, 2014

On March 5,2014 Prince was the guest star on the Arsenio Hall show. I had to watch, one because I like Arsenio's show, and two, I hadn't seen any recent work by Prince in ages.

Granted, I have never been a very big fan of Prince, nor have I ever been compelled to buy any of his albums or even view his movie, but I admit he has an excellent body of work to his name.

Prince's video's in the 1990's were very well done, and and I did like watching them, but still never enough to want to go out and buy them.

As I was watching Prince and his band perform on Arsenio's show, I found myself mesmerised by the movement of his horn section, and the overall performance of Prince and his band. The band members seemed like they really loved what they were doing, which is a good thing, because one should always do what they love the most.

Prince and Aresino did a fun Q and A segment.  It was nice that Prince was comfortable enough to show his humor, being that he is a rather quiet and reserved person. All in all, the show was absolutely fabulous, and the hour went by a little to quickly. I was wishing that there could have been an extra hour it was that much fun. More fun the watching Cloris Leachman eat stalks of celery on a previous Arsenio show, that was rather dull, and Arsenio looked rather uncomfortable trying to interview her.

Hopefully Prince will be willing to do another show with Arsenio, and I will surely be watching.

Many Blessing to you.