Airline Announcements

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make their announsments a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 4 ways out of this plane.

We do feature a smoking section on this flight. If you must smoke, contact a mombe of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wings.

Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatorie will be asked to leave the plane immeadiatly.

Pilot - " Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude, so I am going to switch off the seat belt sign. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. it's a bit cold outside, it's a bit cold outside , and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern. "

After landing; " Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed talking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker. " Whoa Big Fella. "

Weather at our distination is 50 degrees with som broken clouds, but we will try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money more then Southwest.

Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them as our compliments.

As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children.

And from the pilot during the welcome message: " We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunatly none of them are on this flight."

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attandant came on the intercome and said, " That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airlines fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the Attendants' fault.... it was the asphalt!"

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo,Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having ato fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendantannounced, Ladies and Gentleman, welcome to Amarillo, Pleas remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastned while the Captain taxis to whats left to the gate."

Another Flight Attandants comment on a less than perfect landing: " We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a " Thanks for flying XYZ airline: He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eyes. Finally everyone had gotten off except a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, " Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am" said the pilot, " What is it? " The little old lady said, " Did we land or were we shot down?"

Rest Well My Dear Pet

Meet my cat Houligan. Today I had to put him to rest due to failing health. I knew I had to do it one day, but I always thought he'd be with me a while longer.

Houligan was 13 years old and he was quite a character. He was also a big cat with a squeaky meow, and it always made me laugh everytime he opened his mouth.

I can clearly remember the day I brought him home from the shelter, as though it was yesterday. He was about a year old at the time, and as I was driveing home with my beloved pet, he was twisting and turning, and making all this noise in the carrier in the seat next to me. I looked at him and said, " Shut up you little Houligan!" Hence his name !!!

Houligan's loss hurts just as much as my other pets who went before him, but I know I gave him a good life and loved him the same way a parent loves their human child. My consolation is that I know that he is no longer in pain, and that he'll be waiting for me with the others at the Rainbow Bridge.

Rest well my Big ole Houligan cat. I'll keep you in my heart forever.

Love

Mommie

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called the Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water,and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing, the each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His eyes are bright and intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross over the Rainbow Bridge together........

Author Unknown

Idiot Day

Geez, I didn't realize it'd been so long since I blogged, but today I just had too!!!!!!

I just had one of those days when every idiot on the face of the earth just had to cross my path. It started this morning, I was trying to get into my car to go to work, and the old man next door(who is more then an idiot but that's another blog) strolled in to moan about the lawn service I have to fertilize my grass.

Now I have noticed that they hadn't been doing a very good job, and I have some weedage along the left side of my driveway. I was going to make another call to them and complain when I got home this evening to have them take care of it. But Old Man Idiot neighbor came over and started bitching !!! He's just one of those people who isn't happy unless he's complaining.

Anyway I told him, " Look you ! I am neither blind nor stupid, and I am going to call them in due time. But, when I call them I will inform them that if you do so much as come out and tell them what to do, that they send you the bill."

Needless to say he moaned about my statement, which isn't surprising, until I went on to say that I pay the lawn service not him. If he's going to interfere, either he pays them, or he can fertilize my lawn for free. I excused myself and headed off to my job.

The Walmart is in the same area as the grocery store I work for and often I go thru their parking lot to get to the parking lot for my store. ( Yes Billy, I have a WalMart story today)
Well today when I was driving thru the Walmart parking lot, I encountered Kamikaze Idiot.
I was driving less then 5 MPH, when an Asian lady and her three children were coming out of the Walmart. I stopped and gave them the right of way. The three children saw me and stopped, which told me that these children were intelligent and knew to look both ways before crossing. But their mother, Kamikaze idiot wasn't paying attention, and just kept moving. Even though I was at a complete stop, when she looked my way she literally jumped out of her skin. She was surprised that cars were actually moving in the Walmart lot. Well DUH!!! If she has some sort of a death wish, I just hope she doesn't do her Kamikaze thing when I'm around.


I worked my shift with the usual annoyances, but as I was leaving the parking lot to come home, I encountered a whole new crop of idiots. When I get ready to leave, I always wait a minute or two, and look in back of me, because there may be a person pushing a cart of groceries to their car, and they may be moving kind of slow, or one of the cart people may be out rounding up the carts to take inside. I basically make sure I don't hit anyone while backing out of my space. Well, I pulled out of my space, and started driving up the lane, when I'm In A Hurry So I Don't Care If You're Driving Up The Lane Idiot, starts backing out and almost smashes into the front drivers side of my car !!!! Needless to say I layed on my horn, and he stopped. I had seen him in the store earlier when he was doing his grocery shopping, and he was giving the deli manager a hard time. So it just figured that he would cross my path also.

So I get on to RTE 30, after sitting thru 3 cycles of lights, that's how backed up traffic was, when I got behind, Miss I Am Going To Drive 30 Miles Per Hour In A 50 Mile Per Hour Zone. Rte 30 is a 2 lane highway, and in that particular area traffic is kind of heavy at 5 pm, but traffic still moves at 50 miles an hour. The lady driving slowly looked to be in her mid 20's and needless to say she did get the one finger wave from several drivers that she had annoyed besides me. But as slow as she was driving, she probably is still on her way home at this minute.

But I can say that I did make it home safely, and fortunately I don't have anyplace to go this evening. If I did have to leave, I know more then likely I would find a whole new crop of idiots.

I hope you all had a better day then I did.

Blessings and Hugs

Adventures in Babysitting

When I was in High School - many, many, MANY years ago - I babysat for several families on a regular basis. Some were from the neighborhood, some from the church I attended with my family, and occasionally for friends of my parents. On the rare occasion I did refuse a babysitting job, and this was because the child had a major behaviour problem, and the parents just didn't want to discipline their children.

One of the families I babysat for lived right across the back yard of my family home. Which was pretty cool. The parents had a little more time to get themselves ready to go out, without having to hurry to pick me up. In the winter, the dad would shovel a path from their back door to our back door so I wouldn't have to walk all the way around to their house. Now how cool was that? Michelle and Greg were basically good kids, I enjoyed watching them. But as Greg got older, he became rebellious and harder to handle. One summer he actually tried to set our back yard on fire with a book of matches. One of the other neighborhood kids alerted my parents to what Greg had done, and needless to say my parents had to mention it to Greg's parents. I know he was punished for what he had done, and apologized for his actions. But sadly Greg's behavior worsened, and the family eventually moved someplace out in the country, a few months after the fire incident.

Another family I babysat for, was one of my dads business partners. Now these kids were the absolute best !!! Cheryl was 4, Doug was 18 months, and Kara was 6 months old when I started babysitting them. They were always happy, Cheryl loved playing games and was always wanting to help with her brother and sister. When Kara started talking she and her brother were always asking for me to come over to watch them. When it was bedtime, the girls were always ready to go without hesitation. But Doug on the other hand, hated bedtime. He would go and hide behind the couch. So I would help the girls into their jammies, tuck them in and read a bedtime story, then I would go and get Doug from behind the couch, which was fairly easy. All he really wanted was a little snack before bedtime. He would go to bed happy and sleep through the night. One evening, when I was over there, right before they went out for the evening, mom had mentioned to me that Doug always woke up crying around 1 AM, but he never did the evenings I babysat. When I told her I always gave him a little snack before bed, they started doing the same. To this day she mentions " It took the babysitter to figure that out for us." We both get a good laugh from that one.

I also babysat for a young boy named Mark for 4 years. He was 5 at the time and his parents had been divorced for a couple of years when I started caring for him. Right off , his mom told me he could be a handful, but I quickly realized he was just a bright child who got bored easily, and needed a little extra attention. Mark absolutely loved playing board games, so when I would go over there, I occasionally brought a game along , and in time his mom bought more games for me to play with him. Marks all time favorite was Uno. He'd always work so hard to try and beat me, and when he did, he would jump around whooping it up like a crazy kid !! I got the biggest laugh out him doing it. About a year after I graduated from High school, Mark and his mom moved to Florida. Her then fiance' transferred to a Police Department down there, and she found a higher paying job, which was a big plus for her too.

Over the years I often thought about some of the kids I took care of, so a few months ago I started to inquire about them. Most are married and have children of their own. Some have had troubled adult lives, and tragically, one of the boys passed away in an automobile accident his sophomore year of college.

Cheryl, Doug and Kara have done well for themselves. They all attended college, Cheryl lives in Michigan with her husband and kids, and has a great job. Doug has a supervisor position in the company his family business, and Kara is a speech therapist in Illinois, and married a wonderful man this past summer.

I finally made contact with Mark this past week. He was surprised and happy that I took the time to find him. He's married and is a successful attorney in Florida. I am very proud of him. He had the drive and determination to become a successful compassionate adult, who gets joy out of helping others. But on a side note, I saw a recent picture of him and I have to admit that I swooned !!! Mark is one gorgeous adult !! I thought that John Kennedy Jr was hot, but by my admission, Mark is hotter ! Hooooooooooooooo!!!!

Unfortunately I haven't been able to find out what happened to Michelle and her brother Greg. I hope that things turned out well for Greg, we all deserve a good life, and I will pray he found his way, and made a good life for himself.

One Unhealthy Relationship

Why do we always come here?
This we'll never know.
It's kind of like a torture,
to have to watch the show.

Statler and Waldorf of the Muppet Show


Torture in a relationship, be it in the form of family, friendship or a romantic relationship is not for me. Do I like the way it feels? NOPE!!! Not at all.
Love in any of the above mentioned forms is not supposed to hurt. In fact, I've been known to distance myself from those who I recognize ans haveing the potential to cause harm and/or discomfort to me. I don't like it, and I don't need it in my life.

Yet I have watched people torture themselves in very unhealthy relationships, shake my head and wonder why they continue them at all. A perfect example is my friend Ruth, whom I've been friends with for well over 30 years. When we first met, she was married to the mother of all jackasses, and to this day the man is still a creatin. He mentally and physically abused her, he cheated with other women, and virtually drank away alot of his income, not to mention his drug use.... ooops I mentioned it. For what it's worth, his adult children from his previous marriage won't have anything to do with him.

Fortunatly after 15 years ( which was 15.5 years to long ) Ruth divorced the mentally unhealthy human being she called husband. The sad thing is, after 10 years, she still can't break ties with the jerk, she still lets him walk all over her. I know one of her neighbors is interested in starting a relationship with her, but it won't happen because she lets her crazy ex husband come around, and she lets him take advantage of her good nature. Her stepsons and I have pleaded with her time and again to not let him come around, but she still lets him. None of us can understand why she continues to put up with him.

In the mean time, I will try to be a friend to Ruth,and pray for her well being.

Class of 1975

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.

WELL.....YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE, AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL . "YES, YES I DID. I'M A MUSTANG! ' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE. 'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED HE ANSWERED, IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK? "YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT ASS, GRAY HAIRED, DECREPIT, SON OF A BITCH ASKED...... 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???

A Boy Singing To His Sister

A Boy Singing to his little sister.....You are My Sunshine, My only Sunshine'

(Be prepared to get watery eyes!)Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on theway, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day,night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mom my's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even mether.

The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of thePanther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown , Tennessee In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, everythree, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery andKaren found herself in hours of labor.Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael'slittle sister was born. But she was in very serious condition.With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant tothe neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville ,Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst. Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot.They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral. Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. I want to sing to her, he kept saying.

Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before theweek was over.Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are neverallowed in Intensive Care. Kar en decided to take Michael whether theyliked it or not.If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU.
He looked like a walking laundry basket.The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed,
'Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed.'
The mother rose up strong in Karen,
and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right intothe head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. 'He is not leaving until he sings to his sister' she stated.Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside.He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live.After a mom ent, he began to sing.

In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang:'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.' Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond.
The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady.'Keep on singing, Michael,' encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes.'You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.'

As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged,strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr 'Keep on singing, sweetheart.' 'The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in myarms' Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.'Keep on singing, Michael.' Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse.
Karen glowed.

'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away.'The next day...the very next day. the little girl was well enough to go homeWoman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song.The medical staff just called it a miracle.Karen called it a miracle of God's love.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.Life is good.Have a Wonderful Day! In God We Trust!'The evidence of God's presence far outweighs the proof of His absence.'

I Saw What You Did !!!!

Picture this.

I was on my way into work yesterday. I was stopped at the intersection of Rt 30 and Rt 41 waiting to turn right. As I look over to my left I witness a guy picking his nose. The way that he was working it, you'd think he was digging for gold or for something better. What made this whole nausiating, vile nose picking event even worse, was when he finished collecting his prize, he actually flicked it someplace inside his car.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Nasty little picture isn't it? My stomach turned when I witnessed this olympic nose picking event.

There are actually people in this world that believe they're invisible while driving in their cars.

I have news flash for you, you really aren't invisible ! Cars are built with windows. If you're looking out, and can see the road and people in surrounding cars, chances are pretty good that those same people are looking right back at you and pretty much know what you're doing.

HELLO !!!!!!

I've also seen people changing their cloths, applying make-up, even reading the newspaper while driving. I'm even sure our friends who drive the Big Rigs, have witnessed even more unbelievable things taking place while looking out the windows of their semi's on the way to their destinations.

So to Mr. I'm in search for the big nugget of gold, Please don't offer me a ride in your car. I don't want to be sitting on the disposals from your nose. Also, never invite me over for a home cooked meal, because I saw where you put your fingers, and Lord knows where else your hands have been. Please don't pet my cats, they've just been groomed and I'm sure they don't want the makings for crusty fur. And Last but not least, always remember, EVERYBODY can see what your doing in your car even though you may not think so.

Now go on and have a good day.

Red Marbles

During the waning years of the Great Depression of the 1930's in a small southeastern Kansas community, I used to stop by Mr.Miller's roadside stand for farm fresh produce as the season made it available. Food and money were still extremely scarce and bartering was used extensively. One particular day, Mr. Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller and the ragged boy next to me.

"Hello Barry, how are you today?"

"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas...sure look good."

"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"

"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.""Good. Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."

"Would you like to take some home?"

"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."

"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"

"All I got's my prize marble here."

"Is that right? Let me see it."

"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."

"I can see that. Hmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?"

"Not 'zackley .....but, almost."

"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble."

"Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller."

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, perhaps."I left the stand, smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys and their bartering. Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.They were having his viewing that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon our arrival at the mortuary, we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts - very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing smiling and composed, by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary, awkwardly, wiping his eyes. Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and mentioned the story she had told me about the marbles. Eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket. "Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last when Jim could not change his mind about color or size - they came to pay their debt."

"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho." With loving gentleness, she lifted her husband's lifeless fingers. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined, red marbles!

The Jeffersons - Movin' On Up (with Leaf Trombone)

I just love watching Rhett and Link on YouTube. These two guys are so creative with their videos, they just make me smile everytime they make a new video. Check out their channel, and I hope they bring a smile to your faces too.

Top Idiots Of 2008

Makes you wonder what 2009 will bring!

Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

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Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

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Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

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Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.

He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy ... But you still get a sign!

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Number Five Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

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Idiot Number Six of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign!

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Idiot Number Seven of 2008

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign.

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Idiot Number Eight of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ) We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

Don't even bother with a sign for this one!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY ALERT! They walk among us ... they REPRODUCE ... and they VOTE!!!

Better Now

I've been under the weather for about a week and a half. Today is the first day that I've actually felt good. I am so glad that I'm better now. So I will post this little video hopeing that you all are feeling well too.

Blessings and Hugs

Oh I'm newly calibrated, All shiny and clean, I'm your recent adaptation, Time to redefine me !

Let the word out, I've got to get out , Oh I'm feeling better now. Break the news out, I've got to get out, Oh I'm feeling better now!

Oh I'm happy as Christmas, All wrapped to be seen. I'm your recent acquisition, Time to celebrate me!

Let the word out, I've got to get out, Oh I'm feeling better now! Break the news out, I've got to get out, Oh I'm feeling better now!

The world's done shaking, The world's done shaking, The world's done shaking me down.

The world's done shaking, The world's done shaking, The world's done shaking me down!

Don't Mess With Seniors

SENIORS.......You gotta love em
$1.99 SPECIAL!
Read carefully...I'm sure this has happened to you...
or does this remind you of your mother??

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'YES!!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the special then.' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
We've been around the block more than once!

Cat Trivia

Clay cat litter came about by accident. In 1948 a neighbour by the name of Kay Draper went into her local sawmill to pick up some sawdust for her cat's litter tray. She had been using ash, but was fed up with it being tracked all over her house. Ed Lowe, the son of the owner offered her some clay, known as Fullers Earth which was used to absorb grease. Ed realised he was onto something, and started marketing the product in pet shops & at cat shows. It took a while to take off, but eventually it became a multi million dollar business.

Sir Isaac Newton invented the cat flap.

An ailurophile is a person who loves cats. The word ailuro is from the ancient Greek word for "cat".

More cats are left handed than right handed. Out of every 100 cats approximately 40 are left-pawed, 20 are right-pawed, and 40 are ambidextrous.

The ridged pattern on a cat's nosepad is as individual as a human fingerprint.

At their fastest, cats can run at 30mph.

A group of kittens is called a kindle.

A group of cats is called a clowder.

The cat is the only domesticated animal NOT mentioned in the bible.

Male cats used to be called "rams" or "boars", however in 1760, an anonymous author wrote a book entitled "The Life & Adventures of a Cat" in which the central character was a male called Tom the Cat. This book was hugely popular & the name tom cat quickly replaced "ram" or "boar"

A cat's pulse is between 130 - 240 beats per minute.

A cat's gestation is between 61 - 70 days.

Cats have 30 vertebrae. Humans have 25.

The normal body temperature is 102 degrees F.

Like humans, kittens have "baby" teeth, which are replaced with their adult teeth from around 6 months of age.

Cats perspire through their paws.

Cats breathe at a rate of 20 - 30 breaths per minute.

The cat's front paws have 5 toes & their back paws have 4. However, some cats have more than this number of toes. When a cat has more than 18 toes, it's called a "polydactyl". Poly comes from the Greek word "polys" which means many or more than one. Dactyl also comes from a Greek word "daktylos" or finger.

Cat urine glows under "black light".

Cats don't kill their prey with their claws, the claws are used to hold onto the prey, the teeth are used to kill the prey.

The claws on the cat's back feet aren't as sharp as the claws on the front feet because they can't retract into the toe, therefore they're continually being worn down by walking.

Cats have existed longer than humans.

Cats walk on their toes.

Cats can jump 5 times their height.

The domestic cat is the only species of cat that can hold it's tail vertically while walking.

Cats have the largest eyes in proportion to their body size of all mammals.

Cats usually have 12 whiskers on each side of it's nose.

My Great Big Fat Cinnamon Bun

Doesn't that look delicious? I bought that today when I was at work, and I'll tell you how it came about.

Last week when I was looking around on YouTube, I had gone over to my friend Kimshere2's page, and her background reminded me of a Cinnabon Cinnamon Bun. Well that began my cravings, and I had to admit that I resisted well, since I've been dieting, until today.

Well the story continues.

This morning before I had to leave for work, I was looking at BillCtv's blog, and he had a picture of his dinner, which was a Pulled Pork Stuffed Baked Potato, and he included the recipe. After checking that out, my salivary glands went into overdrive, and I mean O.V.E.R.D.R.I.V.E. !!!

After my shift was over today, I went and bought the makings for Billy's baked potato, AND the Cinnamon bun.

As good as I have been with my dieting, I've lost a total of 30 pounds since November, I couldn't help but to treat myself to something sinful and delicious. And believe me the cinnamon bun is divine !!! I'll be making myself that potato tomorrow and enjoying every single bite !!!! I'll be back on my diet on Friday.

In the mean time

Blessings and Hugs to you.