A friend and I had a discussion one weekend about dating, relationships, friendships, chatting with people online, etc. He had stated that our friendship wasn't real because I physically wasn't there, ( meaning I didn't live close to him ) even though I do have every intention of meeting him in the near future. I guess the whole thing got me thinking about friendships we develop via the internet vs. those we have in "real" life. Is one less valid, less true than the other?
My online experience thus far has included genuinely honest and nice people who enjoy making friendships and chatting with people who may live near or far away, folks who are just on here to flirt, guys seeking webcam sex (not happening, LOL), and out and out liars whose agendas I just don’t understand. I have met some of my online friends, have plans in place to meet others, and there are many who I probably never will see face to face.
Is this really all that different than meeting people in my day to day existence? Some people I meet become deep and lifelong friends, others are friends for a season or two, and then there are those who never develop into anything more than acquaintances I like to socialize with once in a while. Same holds true for dating --- there are men who desire meaningful relationships, and those who are "friends with benefits" seekers.
In both instances, the person’s whole character is not revealed all at once, but over time. Is it necessary for someone to see me in the flesh to know who I am? Does the person who’s talked to me for hours and hours on the computer and phone, and to whom I reveal my innermost thoughts, dreams, fears and desires, know me any less well than someone I have lunch with every couple of weeks and with whom I exchange small talk?
What is your opinion? Have you become close to people you’ve met online? Do you consider them "friends" the same way you do people who live and work and socialize with you?
3 comments:
Ummm very good points here. Something to ponder over for sure, I too have had issues with the 3d world and internet world...yea i have...more for me to think about, thanks i needed that! lol great vlog your getting good my friend.
Well to me they are real. I met my husband online chatting and we lived 12 hours and several states apart. I was one of those people that while in a chat room, I never flirted with anyone when we were dating. Most people said those are just words on a screen, but to me those words were how we communicated and so they weren't just words on a screen. I took them to heart.
I still talk to and have never met some friends that I began chatting with back in 1998 and they are closer to me than some that live down the road.
My definition of a real relationship, doesn't matter if you are side by side or across the country, if you have committed yourself to that one person then you are in a relationship.
Just because you aren't close by doesn't mean you aren't in a relationship. What about those men and women that are seperated by military service or one that travels with there job, does that mean they aren't in a relationship?
I told my husband loved him before I ever met him in person. Its been 10 years and we are very happy and it just keeps getting better.
I value my friendship with Jim and Ruthe a great deal, I met them online and we had the opportunity to meet Jim and we look forward to meeting Ruthe at SouthTube.
oh great question!
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